Re-Routing

If I could go back and change the steps I've taken in life, would I?

If I could undo the decisions I've made and make different ones, would I?

If I could take back words and actions in my past, would I?

On many occasions my answer to these questions would be a resounding YES!! The reality is that the road I've traveled was paved by the words I've spoken, my actions, and decision that I've made. While I didn't always say the right things, do the right things, or make the right decisions in life, to change them would change my path. While there are days I long for a different road to travel, I realize that taking a different path, traveling a different road, would change my story. It would change the people who have come into my life. It would change the people's lives I have been able to come into (yes, those are two different things).

I heard today (from this message from The Ramp) that life is like a GPS. God has a calling on our lives and He gives us directions to follow to get us to the place of fulfilling that calling. If you take a wrong turn, it doesn't change the destination you are trying to get to. It changes the route you have to take to get there. It probably will make the trip take longer and possibly be more difficult, but it doesn't change the end destination.

If I could go back, would I? I don't think I would. The wrong turns have taught me things I never would have learned had I not taken them. I have grown in ways I don't think I ever would have known I could possibly grow had I not been given the unique opportunities that have crossed my path. Most importantly, if I had not been down the path I have, I would be much less prepared to help others who keep hearing "re-routing" from the GPS. My experiences in life, though not always pleasant, will serve a purpose both in my own life and in helping others.

If you keep hearing "re-routing" just keep going. Follow the directions as best you can, but know that if you make a wrong turn, it doesn't change the end destination. Don't stop!! Don't give up!! Don't quit!! Keep moving forward in Christ!

Perfect Peace

In a world full of so much pain and trouble, it is hard to imagine "Perfect Peace". Does that really exist? Well, I believe every word that is in the Bible, so YES, it’s real.

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. - Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)

What exactly is perfect peace?

Perfect peace does NOT mean that your troubles will disappear. It does NOT mean that life will be easy. It does NOT mean that even more trials than you face now will not come your way.

So what does it mean? I am going to be honest; this is a promise in the Word that I am trying to hold onto. It isn’t easy when life is beating you up to believe that you can have peace at all, much less perfect peace.

Isaiah 26:3 says that if I keep my mind focused on God and TRUST HIM, He will give me perfect peace. Peace won’t come from worrying or wondering, it will come from TRUSTING in the Lord.

This post is not me telling you that I have attained the level of Trusting that provides this kind of peace. I don’t feel peaceful most of the time. However, it is me reminding myself to stop worrying and start TRUSTING again.

If you look up the definition of "peace" you don’t find a feeling. You find a state of being. So whether I FEEL at peace or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is the promise that God will give me perfect peace:

• A state of tranquility or quiet
• A state of security or order
• Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions
• Harmony in personal relations

And God said "Trust Me"

I want to follow up on my Mother’s Day post. I wrote that post late Friday night and posted it around 1:30 AM on Saturday morning. Throughout the day on Mother’s Day, my thoughts turned quite frequently to my baby that I never met. I am always in awe of God and His love for His children. God reminded me of some things on Sunday and I want to share those with you as well. Mostly because I know I’m not the only one who has been through a miscarriage so I want to share with you what God shared with me.

First of all, I want to remind you that God has a plan for our futures and it is a good plan! "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We don’t always understand why things happen in our lives, but we need to keep trusting the promise that God has plans to prosper us and give us hope, plans for a future that is beyond anything we could ever imagine. You might wonder why a loving God would take a child away from us in order to fulfill some other part of His plan and how that is in any way a good plan! This verse of scripture is often used to give encouragement, but most of the time when people quote this verse they forget to remind others that these words were spoken to a group of people who were being punished by God. Now, I’m not saying that if you have a miscarriage it is a punishment from God (I don’t believe that all), but what I am saying is that even in a time where God was punishing a people, He was reminding them of the good that He had planned for their future. To me, knowing this makes this verse even more encouraging. We serve a faithful, loving God, who wants the very best for us. He isn’t out to get us or make us suffer in vain.

As I was thinking about my baby this weekend, I was praying and thanking God for raising my baby in heaven, since I couldn’t raise my baby here on earth. At that moment, God reminded me of some things. Our job as parents on this earth is to raise our children in the Lord. To teach them right and wrong, to teach them to love and serve God, and to teach them about salvation and what it takes to spend eternity with God in Heaven. That is our most important job as parents.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him." (NIV). The word heritage refers to something you inherit. If you receive an inheritance; that means it was something that belonged to someone else before you. Our children are an inheritance from the Lord.

God so gently reminded me in that moment, that my baby wasn’t my baby at all. My baby was His baby and had I gotten the opportunity to raise them on earth, it was with the understanding that I was raising that baby for the Lord. He reminded me that my ultimate goal for that baby was accomplished. That child is in Heaven, they made it!! Whatever God’s reasons were for it to be so early in life as opposed to later, I don’t know. What I do know is that my baby is home, where they belong. My baby is home where I so long to be. I look forward to going home soon to be with my baby.

Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds". Scripture is full of similar verses. The Lord has great plans for you and He is there to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds. He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He will be there for us. Ephesians 2:20-21says, "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." He has good plans for us and He can do more than we can ask or imagine. Trust Him today to bring His good and perfect plans to pass and rest knowing that your baby is home, right where they belong!
　

Mother's Day: Here Comes Another One!

If there were ever a specific day of the year that I both appreciate and dread all at the same time, it's Mother's Day. I know it seems strange that being a mom and still having my mom around that I could dread a day focused on celebrating moms. Why is that? Let me start with the appreciation part, then I will move onto why I dread it.

I have a nine year old son who I love dearly. He makes me laugh, smile, and if I'm being honest, occasionally he also makes me want to scream, but what young boy doesn't at one time or another have that effect on women! He is a great kid and I am proud that he calls me mom.

I also have a great mother of my own. She has always made great sacrifices for me and my brother and sister. She put all of us through private school our entire school career. None of us ever went to public school. Living where we did growing up, I am eternally grateful for that sacrifice. I don't remember a time that we ever went without the things that we needed and everyone except mom generally got the things that they wanted. Mom never really went out and shopped for herself and I remember being glad the few times I remember her doing that. Again, sacrificing for the rest of us. I love my mom very much and even though I don't say it often enough, I sincerely appreciate everything she has ever done for me.

While I have a great son and mom to celebrate with, the last few years I have not looked forward to Mother's Day. Somewhat because I often feel guilty that I don't always buy my mom a present. It makes me feel like a terrible kid. I also don't always go see her on Mother's Day. I'll try to call her, but is that really enough?

I also feel like there is a part of me missing on Mother's Day. About seven years ago, I had a miscarriage. Most of the time I don't think about it, but days like this one make me feel like a part of my family is missing. I wasn't far enough along to know if it was going to be a boy or a girl, but John believes it was a girl. I picture a little girl running around with curly blonde pigtails and blue green eyes. I think about how great of a big brother Jonathan would be and how many times he has asked for a baby brother or sister. I think about all the time my mom and I spent in Girl Scouts or doing crafty things, or me learning how to sew, cross-stitch, plastic canvas, latchook, etc. I think about how cool it would be to be able to teach those things to a daughter. I think about the memories I have of all that with my mom and I wonder if I will ever have that from a moms perspective.

I also honestly don't feel like a good mom. I take care of necessities, but I fall extremely short when it comes to spending quality time with my son. Maybe it's because I don't have cool boy stuff to teach him. Maybe it's because of all the other things racing around in my mind all the time. Either way, it's unfair that he is going to grow up and think back on his childhood and probably remember playing alone in his room more than anything. He doesn't complain and he generally goes to his room on his own, but what is he going to say about me when he grows up?

So, my plans for this Mother's Day include going to church with my family, calling or going by to see my mom, maybe a movie/game night with my boy, and thanking God for raising my baby in heaven!

I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real

The Hiding Place

I have heard of Corrie Ten Boom throughout my life but had never read her story. I decided recently that I wanted to do that. The Hiding Place is the story of Corrie Ten Boom and her family as they live their life doing what they believe is right. During World War II, Corrie and her family helped hide Jews from the Nazi’s in an attempt to help them escape the Nazi Concentration Camps. The Hiding Place is the story of this effort and what happened to them when they got caught by the Germans.

Two of the main characters in this book are Corrie Ten Boom and Betsie Ten Boom (Corrie’s sister). The relationship between Corrie and Betsie really intrigued me. While Corrie is the one we hear about the most, Betsie is the one who holds Corrie together and keeps her focused on the Lord and trusting in Him. Corrie tended to be the one to think through the logistics of how things were going to turn out while Betsie just trusted that God was going to handle everything.

Despite living through terrible conditions in Nazi Concentration Camps, Betsie continued to love others and forgive even those who did such horrible things to them. She showed a kind of love that most of us would not have the strength to. She saw even the German officers as people whom God created and loved.

This book was incredibly inspiring and completely worth the time to read. It makes me want to strive to be like Betsie in all situations. I highly recommend this book!

Rivers of Living Water

I am by no means an expert on the Holy Spirit. I am ill equipped to even attempt to write a blog post about Him as I do not have great background knowledge, but what I do have is personal experience and moments from Him that I want to reflect on.

John 7:37-39 says: On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

I have read this scripture before and struggled to really understand what Jesus was promising would come. I may be a bit literal in my thinking, but hearing “out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” is something that is not easily comprehended for me. I remember as a teenager hearing this verse and thinking the same thing. While I knew it didn’t mean literal rivers flowing out a person’s heart, what exactly does it mean?

Again, I am not an expert, so I’m not going to give you some definition and tell you that this is exactly what this means. What I will say is this: The Holy Spirit, if we allow Him to, can infiltrate every single part of our life: the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. He is our friend, our comforter, our companion, and our guide. He is many other things as well. As we allow the Holy Spirit to be all of those things to us, we fill ourselves up with Him; then we will overflow with His love and peace. That doesn’t mean that we don’t struggle in life, but we have the ability (the help) to get through the trial. I also believe that we will overflow with His love for others and will want to share His love with anyone who will listen.

The pictures you see in this post are a few pictures I took on a trip to Denver. Outside the hotel was a three tiered pond. In between each tier was a rock wall that created a small waterfall at each level. I was walking around outside the hotel and looking at this pond. I was intrigued with it. Not that I haven’t seen ponds and waterfalls before, but this one seemed so pretty to me. It was peaceful, serene, and calming. I was walking around it, taking some pictures, when I suddenly stopped. I thought; this is how the Holy Spirit moves. He flows in our lives and increases us to the next level in Him.  He flows over the rocky parts of our lives and helps us through them and when we reach the end of those rocks, we come out on the other side, calm, peaceful, intact, and still moving forward.

My prayer for each of you and myself today, is that the Holy Spirit will move in your life and mine today. That He would carry you and me through the trials and that He will be your calm, your peace, and your comfort today. Holy Spirit dwell today in me and help me to continually dwell in you. Use me to show the love of Jesus to others today and help me to be your light as I go through this day. Bring the people into my path who need you Jesus and help me to say or do exactly what they need me to for them to see you. Thank you for your love and your salvation! Thank you for the ability to share those with others. Thank you for your unfailing kindness and your faithfulness. Thank you for loving me and giving me the opportunity to love others.

Fearless

Have you ever felt like nothing was right in life? No matter what you did or didn't do, everything was "wrong" and you couldn't see "right" anywhere in the future. All you could see was your current circumstances hanging over you like those rain clouds in the cartoons. You know the ones that follow that one little cartoon character around to rain on them, and only them!

Having these feelings consistently for long periods of time can take a toll. For me, it created an anxiety problem in my life. Worry, anxiety, and fear became front and center in my daily life. Some days are worse than others and some days are almost unbearable.

The underlying problem that I struggle with is fear. Fear caused me to worry and worrying created anxiety. The more I worried the more anxiety I had. The more anxiety I had, the worse the physical response to it. At its worst I spent hours at a time hyperventilating and struggling to catch my breath. I remember one night I had been having one of these anxiety attacks for about an hour. All of the sudden I found myself curled up in a ball on the floor, struggling to breathe, light headed, and honestly wondering if it was ever going to end.

I heard a message this week from a missionary to an area where the people they encounter have reasons to fear believing in Jesus. It is an area of the world where believing in Christ literally could get you killed.

He said, "Terrified, Petrified, Mortified. Fear will either make you run away from what God has for you, turn you into a rock, or kill you". (Look up the definition of those three words).

My fear petrified me. It stopped me in my tracks with these anxiety attacks. But here is the good news! The Bible tells us "Do not fear"!! We do not have to let fear take over our lives. God is with us always and He promises to protect us in fearful situations. 

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. (Isaiah 43:1, 2 NKJV)

God doesn't ever promise us we won't go through trials, but he promises to be by our side and to take care of us as we go through them. 

Worn by Tenth Avenue North (you can listen to it here) has become one of my favorites songs to listen to lately. It took me a few times of feeling like I really liked this song to realize why. It is because I can relate literally to the first few lines.

"I’m tired. I’m worn. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing."

But the best part of this song is the chorus.

Let me see REDEMPTION WIN
Let me know THE STRUGGLE ENDS
That YOU can MEND A HEART
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know A SONG CAN RISE
From the ashes of a broken life
And ALL THAT’S DEAD inside CAN BE REBORN
Cause I’m worn

So, as I continue to battle anxiety, I am asking God to make me fearless! I am praying that through His power and strength, I can change my physical reaction when the hard times come.

My God is bigger than my fears and I need not worry because my God is with me through it all, by my side, every step of the way.

Redeemed - Citipointe

A new day has dawned
Let all the earth rejoice
Your kingdom will reign
With Your love Abba Father

Death now be broken
As Your word has spoken
Redemption became
With the love of the Father

So great is Your love oh Father
You gave Your life for all
And the wonder of it all
Is that we are redeemed

The song of the redeemed will rise
All our praises, all our lives
Sing worthy
We sing worthy

Redeemed!: Embracing a Transformed Life

Redeemed!: Embracing a Transformed Life

by Kerry Clarensau

In the past I have not been a huge reader so for me to sit down and read any book front to back is a huge deal! With Redeemed, it was easy! I highlighted and took away something from every single chapter even the one I didn't think would really apply to me. This book is full of encouragement and truth for every woman. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, you need to read this book!

The end of each chapter includes a section of questions for group discussion if you are doing this as a group study. It also includes a daily reading, meditation, and prayer section for each chapter. This includes scripture, questions, and prayer starters for each day of the week relating to that chapter. I am truly excited about going back and doing these daily sections for each chapter.

After reading this book, I understand so much more about what it means to be redeemed as a lifestyle. What an amazing way to live life!!! Redemption is not a one-time experience but a daily blessing from the Lord as you walk through life side by side with your Redeemer!!

If you are interested in reading this book, you can get the Kindle version from Amazon.com. You can order the hardback book from myhealthychurch.com.

Break Every Chain!

Redemption's Journeys

I am honored to have been a part of Redemption's Journeys today! This is a great blog and everyone should check it out regularly!!!

Redemption's Journeys
There is no where redemption can not go, no work redemption can not do and no task impossible. Only willingness is required.

Redeeming Power

I am going to admit some things about myself tonight. First of all, I am a person who has always had a poor self image. I have never felt like I was good enough or worth much. I have never felt like I mattered to anyone. Not until I met my husband. When we first dated I felt like a princess. He treated me better than anyone ever had and he truly became my best friend. After we got married, I felt like a Queen. I had found the person in life who made me feel important and made me feel like I had value.

Here we are getting ready to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary. I feel like life has beat us up. Life has chewed us up and spit us out and is waiting for our next move to see what else it can throw at us.

While my husband is still by my side, my insecurities and my poor self image have not gone away. I worry about things every day that I can't change. I worry that I'm not pretty enough (ten years, a kid, a college degree, and a full time job can definitely start to show). I worry that I'm not good enough. I worry that I'm gonna say the wrong things. I worry that my emotions are going to be perceived as something they are not. I worry that I'm not a good enough mom. I worry that I'm not making the right decisions for my son. I worry that I'm going to wake up one day and be alone. I worry that everything in life that matters to me will disappear.

A year ago I attended a women's rally in Conway. The message that night I will not soon forget. The message from The Lord I personally received that night, I will never forget.

The message was on the seasons we go through in life and was encouraging us to lean on God and trust in Him through every single season. This was a rough time in my life at home and I felt like my family was going to dissolve under the pressure we were under and I was already watching it happen. I cried everyday to The Lord before that night asking Him to hold my family together and asking Him to change our situation.

That night last January, as clear as if I were sitting next to you talking, I heard The Lord speak to me. He told me that I was going to make it. That I was going to be ok. That no matter what happened in my circumstances, He was going to take care of me and that He loved me. Beginning that night, I just started praying that God would handle it. I gave it to Him and have prayed daily since then that God would work out all things to His glory.

Here we are a year later and He has held true to those promises. He has worked in my life and is restoring the pieces of my life that I thought were slipping away. It has been a process and it isn't over yet, but He is working.

Because the theme for women's ministry this year is Redeemed, I have really been thinking about this. Salvation came for me as a child. But salvation is only the first step of redemption. Salvation is about believing in Jesus. Believing that Jesus died on a cross for your sins so that you didn't have to pay the price for your sins. Jesus did that for you and in return you get to spend eternity in heaven with Him.

Redemption is so much more than salvation alone. Redemption is about taking the broken pieces of our lives, the trash, the nasty stuff we may not even tell our closest friends, and changing those things. Cleaning us up and giving us a new purpose. Redemption is about taking what others may see as the worst situations in your life and giving them meaning and making something better out of them than we could ever imagine.

Redemption is an ongoing process that even the greatest Christians walk through over and over again with each new twist and turn that life brings their way. God can redeem you and your circumstances in life.

As I said earlier, I worry about a lot of things in life, but in the middle of my worries, I pray that I have the strength to trust God to redeem my circumstances and to make the best of them. I trust that God has a plan and that no matter what we get hit with next I know that His redeeming power will get us through.

I'm still a broken person who while trusting in God's redemption struggles with the human emotions attached to my situations. I still worry, I still cry, I still get anxious and stressed out. That doesn't mean that I'm not trusting. It simply means that I am human.

A Knock at the Door

This evening, before we left for church, there was a knock on the front door. I opened to door and standing there was a young single mother. She was involved in some sort of workforce program. She talked for a few minutes and asked me several questions while I waited to find out what exactly she was selling.

She asked me if I believed in working hard and programs like the one she was in to help train people to get a better job in the future. She asked me what I did for a living and asked me where I started and how I worked my way up to where I am now. It was quite interesting as she seemed to be gleaning information about how to succeed in life at the same time she was trying to make her sales pitch.

Turns out, she was selling books and magazines. I told her I really couldn't purchase anything right now and I wished her well hoping she would take that answer and be on her way. I really don't care much for people knocking on my door trying to sell me stuff.

I almost missed a chance to share the love of Christ with a complete stranger who randomly showed up at my door, but lucky for me, the Holy Spirit gave me another chance!

Before she left, she asked me what advice I would give to someone like her in regards to succeeding in life. That caught me off guard and anyone who knows me very well knows that I am not too good at thinking on my toes and answering a question like that.

The first thing I said was, "don't give up". Then as I thought for a minute, I told this young woman that life gets hard sometimes. Sometimes it gets really hard, but the one thing that has always gotten me through the trials in life is my relationship with Jesus. I told her if it wasn't for Jesus I don't believe I would be here today.

She looked at me for a minute and said, oh yeah, me too. That phrase wasn't near as confident sounding as the rest of her sales pitch was. She quickly said thank you and goodbye.

My prayer tonight is that she hears that echo in her mind and heart and that she finds that relationship with Jesus and the next time she hears that from someone, she can say with confidence that she has that and leans on that daily for help and strength.

I am praying The Lord gives me more of these opportunities and that I don't miss them.

Your Storm Will End

Today was a very dreary day outside. I had to drive from Little Rock to Fort Smith, in the rain and with one stop on the way, roughly a three hour trip. When I left Little Rock, it wasn't sunny outside, but it had lightened up outside and wasn't too dark. It wasn't raining either. As I traveled down the road, listening to my music and really enjoying the drive, it started to get darker. The further down the road I went, the darker it got and it began to rain. The rain itself wasn't too bad. There were only a few spots along the way where the rain was heavy and in those spots it only lasted a few minutes and then stopped. What was bad was the road spray. Driving on Interstate 40, half of the vehicles on the road were large vehicles, either buses or eighteen wheelers.  Those large vehicles can throw a lot of water on a small car and make it very difficult to see very far down the road.

As I neared the end of my trip, I really began to think about how this trip relates to life. We travel through life the same way as I was traveling down the interstate. Sometimes life is sunny and easy to enjoy. Other times in life, things get dark. Sometimes it gets really dark. And while it’s dark, we still have to travel down the road. We still have to navigate all the curves and stay in between the lines. While it’s dark, the rain falls even harder sometimes. And sometimes, like the eighteen wheelers, when we think the rain isn't so bad, something else flies by us and drowns us in even more rain.

Here is the good news, every storm has an end. No matter how dark life gets, no matter how much rain falls, no matter how soaked we get by even more water, there is hope because at some point, the storm will end. I was blessed to see the edge of the storm as I drove into Forth Smith today. As I neared the end of my journey, I drove out of the storm. It was beautiful! If you are going through a storm in life, just keep moving. Keep pressing forward and at some point you will come out of the storm. But there is more good news. Even if I had not been driving and moving down the road, the storm at some point would have passed. If the weight of your storm is so great that you can’t move and all you can do is stand still, the storm will still pass.

Mark 4:35-39 says, “And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side. And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships. And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

Storms may come when God is moving us. When He is asking us to pass over unto the other side, there may be some storms that come our way. Most likely there will be more storms at those times in life when God is moving us. Just remember, if we are passing over to the other side with Jesus in the boat with us, we have all we need to navigate life’s storms with the assurance of making it through to a great calm.