Postpartum Baby Blues

In the baby/pregnancy world online you can't get too far without running into someones thoughts and advice on postpartum depression and baby blues. This is not one of those posts. Why? Because I have no advice to give.

So why would I even take the time to post anything on the topic? Well, because right now, I am all about being real. The truth is, I am fairly sure I am dealing with some form of baby blues. Not sure if it is just the blues or full on postpartum depression, but it is something.

Instead of pretending that I have it all together (I don't) and that everything about being a second time mom to a precious baby girl is all roses and dandelions (it isn't), I am just gonna leave this blog post here as a place to hopefully just start some discussion.

I am not looking for sympathy or for "it's all gonna be ok" from anyone. I am looking for real, honest discussion on the issue from women just like me all across the online world.

Through church, women's ministry, and the women blogging communities I have been blessed to be a part of, I understand that there is power in communities of women. There is strength in hearing other people's stories. You don't have to always have an answer for someone. Just sharing your story and letting others know they are not alone (or crazy) can be the difference that changes lives!

So, how about it? Do you have a postpartum experience that you would be willing to share? Leave a comment and share your story.

Where Has the Time Gone?

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted here on the blog (March of last year is way to long). Where have I been? WAY TOO BUSY!!

I work a full time job. Outside of that, I got tied up in many different volunteer activities and decided to go to Graduate School!! More than anyone should take on at one time, I can tell you that much. I honestly just completely lost track of this blog and had no time or energy to even think about it for a while. I still don't know how regularly I will post at this point, but things have changed again in my life, and I am craving a creative outlet again!!

What has changed? Well, I am not going to Grad School this semester. I only need two more classes to finish what I was going for, but I can't do it this semester. I have started letting go of many of the volunteer activities that I have been doing. I am still working full time, however, most of the extra's have been let go in my life.

Why would I give up so much all at once? As of yesterday, I am 25 weeks pregnant with our second baby!! This was definitely a surprise for us and we did not plan on it nor were we expecting it.

What does this have to do with the blog? As I travel this road of dealing with pregnancy and the coming a new little one again, I am finding my mind all over the place and needing a place to gather my thoughts, experiences, DIY attempts, nursery delimas and anything else to just clear my mind a bit.

I hope that you will enjoy the rest of this pregnancy journey with me and welcoming our little one into the world!! Who knows, maybe my creative outlet and clearing my head will inspire someone or help someone else along the way!!

A Win For Religious Freedom and Women’s Rights

It has taken me a few days to muster up the courage to actually put my thoughts on the internet concerning the recent victory for Hobby Lobby in their Supreme Court Case against Obamacare. Such a controversial subject, and based on the varying facebook posts and tweet’s I’ve read, it is a breeding ground for unwanted comments and a general feeling of nausea when I think of the remarks I may have to respond to after this is posted. However, I feel led to be a part of this discussion. It is an important issue and worth me spending time talking about and  using my online space to do that. Since we still have freedom of speech, that is what I am going to do.

Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to it, but in an effort to build a small amount of credibility on the subject, let me share a little about myself. I am a born again, spirit filled, married, Christian woman. I also am a woman who has taken oral contraceptives for a majority of the last ten years.

The media headlines have been incredibly misleading concerning the case with Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby’s concern was not related to birth control in general. They did not file a suit regarding paying for birth control. Their concern was paying for specific types of birth control which are not preventative in nature, but abortive in nature. They are not denying all birth control, only those that essentially cause an abortion. So, from their perspective and mine, this was a case about them being forced to fund something that they are fundamentally against. And in all reality, the ruling takes nothing away from the women who work for them. Those women will still have 16 of the 20 available contraceptives covered in their health plan.

As a matter of religious rights, I absolutely agree with the Supreme Court decision and am thrilled that the results turned out the way they did. No one should be forced to pay for something that goes against their religious beliefs.

Some who disagree with the ruling do so based on women’s rights. This is an issue that I have always found vastly confusing as related to a woman's right to choose. I am a woman, and I believe in women’s rights, but not at the expense of another human life. Just because you are a grown woman and a newly fertilized egg is only a few days or even hours into development, it doesn’t take away the sanctity of that life. Claiming women’s rights (or a woman's right to choose) on the abortion issue is just making an excuse for murder.

To me, it is no different than a grown woman killing a 5 year old child. Their reasoning could easily be the same: raising them is too hard, they cost too much money, I just wasn’t ready to be a mom, kids are too much responsibility, I’m young, I just want to have fun for a while. If any of those excuses were given by a woman who killed a 5 year old child, they would be found guilty of murder.

But let's get real for a few minutes... My opinions don't matter. What matters is what God says. Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that we are valuable and created for a purpose and that God knew us and loved us even before we are conceived in our mother’s womb. Yes, even if you were called “a mistake” by your parents, you were NO mistake to God!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5

I know what some of the responses to that will be. I can hear it now. “God was talking about Jeremiah, not me, and not the "mass of cells" that is inside of me. He didn’t appoint me as a prophet”. Well, let me share a few more verses.

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism”. – Acts 10:34

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever. – Hebrews 13:8

If Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, and if He doesn’t show favoritism, than it stands to reason that if He knew Jeremiah before he was formed in his mothers womb and set him apart for a purpose, then the same is true of you and me.

God knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. Yes, even if you were the result of a less than ideal relationship, God still knew you and set you apart. Maybe you are carrying a baby that is the result of a horrific injustice to you, such as rape. If that is the case, I am truly sorry that you are dealing with that and I pray God's peace on your life. As hard as that situation will be to walk through, God knew your baby before that horrific act happened to you and He has a plan and a purpose for both your baby and you. That plan may include adoption, but it absolutely does not include murder.

The bottom line is that our own selfish wishes and desires do not justify taking the life of a baby, no matter how small or insignificant you may think they are. They are far from insignificant to God!

As a Christian company, these scriptures are only a small part of the justification for Hobby Lobby’s court case against Obamacare. As followers of Christ, asking them to pay for something that could cause an abortion, is asking them to completely disregard their core beliefs and to fund what they consider to be murder.

As a women who believes deeply in religious rights and lives a life based on my faith, a win for religious rights, is a win for women’s rights. If my religious freedoms are revoked and the government is able to force me to participate in something that I don’t agree with, then my rights as a women have been diminished. So, kudos to Hobby Lobby and to the five Supreme Court Justices who ruled in their favor.

And God said "Trust Me"

I want to follow up on my Mother’s Day post. I wrote that post late Friday night and posted it around 1:30 AM on Saturday morning. Throughout the day on Mother’s Day, my thoughts turned quite frequently to my baby that I never met. I am always in awe of God and His love for His children. God reminded me of some things on Sunday and I want to share those with you as well. Mostly because I know I’m not the only one who has been through a miscarriage so I want to share with you what God shared with me.

First of all, I want to remind you that God has a plan for our futures and it is a good plan! "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We don’t always understand why things happen in our lives, but we need to keep trusting the promise that God has plans to prosper us and give us hope, plans for a future that is beyond anything we could ever imagine. You might wonder why a loving God would take a child away from us in order to fulfill some other part of His plan and how that is in any way a good plan! This verse of scripture is often used to give encouragement, but most of the time when people quote this verse they forget to remind others that these words were spoken to a group of people who were being punished by God. Now, I’m not saying that if you have a miscarriage it is a punishment from God (I don’t believe that all), but what I am saying is that even in a time where God was punishing a people, He was reminding them of the good that He had planned for their future. To me, knowing this makes this verse even more encouraging. We serve a faithful, loving God, who wants the very best for us. He isn’t out to get us or make us suffer in vain.

As I was thinking about my baby this weekend, I was praying and thanking God for raising my baby in heaven, since I couldn’t raise my baby here on earth. At that moment, God reminded me of some things. Our job as parents on this earth is to raise our children in the Lord. To teach them right and wrong, to teach them to love and serve God, and to teach them about salvation and what it takes to spend eternity with God in Heaven. That is our most important job as parents.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him." (NIV). The word heritage refers to something you inherit. If you receive an inheritance; that means it was something that belonged to someone else before you. Our children are an inheritance from the Lord.

God so gently reminded me in that moment, that my baby wasn’t my baby at all. My baby was His baby and had I gotten the opportunity to raise them on earth, it was with the understanding that I was raising that baby for the Lord. He reminded me that my ultimate goal for that baby was accomplished. That child is in Heaven, they made it!! Whatever God’s reasons were for it to be so early in life as opposed to later, I don’t know. What I do know is that my baby is home, where they belong. My baby is home where I so long to be. I look forward to going home soon to be with my baby.

Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds". Scripture is full of similar verses. The Lord has great plans for you and He is there to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds. He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He will be there for us. Ephesians 2:20-21says, "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." He has good plans for us and He can do more than we can ask or imagine. Trust Him today to bring His good and perfect plans to pass and rest knowing that your baby is home, right where they belong!