Sheep or Goat?

We’ve all been there. We pull up at a stop light and there standing next to our car is someone holding up a cardboard sign, wanting money, just staring at us while we wait for the light to change so we can hurry up and get away! You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know you have been there!!

We ponder what we should do. Should I give them money or should I just drive off and act like I didn’t see them? I sadly must admit, I almost always drive away and act like I didn’t see them. I would venture to guess, I’m far from alone!

Monday, I was driving home from a quick out of town trip and I made a pit stop about half way home. There she was. A woman standing on the street in front of the gas station I stopped at, gas can sitting next to her and a sign in her hand. She was trying to get home and needed gas (at least that was her story)…

Isn’t that what we always say? “At least that was their story”, like we are sure that isn’t the truth of the situation.

I saw her, I noticed, I went on in to the gas station. As I did, I felt an overwhelming urge to give her some money. So, as I left the gas station, I looked at what I had. I had a $20 bill, a $5 bill, and two $1 bills. I thought, maybe I’ll just give her the $2. Then the Lord said, “No, give her all of it”. So I thought, maybe I’ll just give her the $5. Again, the Lord said, “No, give her all of it”. Sigh…

I thought for a minute and I said, Ok. I’m supposed to give her all of the cash I have left. So I headed toward her. I had no clue what to say (I am quite terrible in situations like that; I never know what to say).

I walked up to her and smiled at her. She was in quite a state. She was either a woman in her late 50’s or 60’s or she was just a woman who had lived a very hard life. She was filthy. I mean, black dirt covered, nasty, dirty, filthy!! She was extremely skinny, you could see her shoulder blades sticking out, and she had no teeth. My honest, gut feeling told me that she probably was on drugs and that one part of me wanted to turn around and not give her the money. But, I was already standing there so I couldn’t do that. I also couldn’t really change the amount I was going to give her, because I had it in my hand already. And then there was the tiny little thing of just being obedient to God!!!

So, I handed her the money. I expected a thank you, and quite honestly, expected her to keep standing there begging for more. But what happened next genuinely surprised me. She looked down at what I had given her and she smiled so big. She said, “That’s it! I’m going home!! I’m going home!!”

It took all I had to choke back the tears. I hugged her and told her that I would be praying for her and that I hoped that she had a blessed day. Now, in hind sight, I wish I would have said MUCH more, but at the time, that’s all I had!!

She hugged me back and said thank you. Then she picked up her gas can and walked across the parking lot to a green car that was sitting there. There were other people in the car too.

I didn’t hang around to see if she filled up her car and left or not. Part of me wanted to, but it really didn’t matter. If she genuinely needed gas to get home, then giving her that money helped her get home. If she didn’t need gas and was standing out there begging for money for drugs or something else, well, that’s between her and God, but at least it got her off the street corner.

As I’ve been processing this moment this week, I’m taken back to two things. The first is obedience. No matter what I think in my natural mind about a situation or a person, that doesn’t change or negate what God asks of me. No matter what my flesh wants me to do, obeying God is far more important!!

And secondly, it takes me back to Matthew 25…

31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. 42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’

44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

I want to be a sheep, not a goat!!! This issue of caring for strangers in need is something that God cares about deeply!!!

This woman... this dirty, filthy, possibly drug addicted woman, is a woman that God cares deeply about!! I prayed most of the rest of the way home for her and I will continue to pray for her. I don’t know her name, but God does!!

Will I stop and help every person I ever see on the street begging for money? Probably not. But I hope that I will stop and ask God what He wants me to do in that moment. And when I do, I will listen for His reply and do what He instructs. I hope and pray that everyone who reads this will also do the same.

Brokenness and Scars

I have really struggled lately with a lot of things. I have struggled with life circumstances that I’ve been forced to deal with. You know, there are things we bring on ourselves, but then there are also things that get brought on us without our asking for them. I’ve had those types of issues to wade through: the unwanted and unasked for ones.

Through all of it, I haven’t ever doubted God. I’ve never given up on what I know He can do. I have had plenty of questions for Him and many times that I have not understood the path I was walking down, but I have not doubted Him.

I have spoken lately about my scars. I have used that word specifically to describe the wounds that I have inside of me. Emotional scars, not physical ones. Scars that seem like they will never heal. Before I used the word scars, I used to say that I was broken; that I had been damaged and was just broken inside. Lately, I've discovered, there is a difference between brokenness and scars.

Brokenness happens at single points in time. During single events of your life pieces of your heart and emotions get broken. The moment when you find out your husband is filing for divorce, a piece of you breaks. That time in the doctor’s office when you hear the devastating news of a disease, that will do everything it can to take you out if you don’t do everything you can to take it out, a piece of you breaks. The moment you realize that your life is forever changed because someone you love has left this earth, a piece of you breaks. The moment you discover that your best friend has betrayed you and those closest to you aren’t around anymore to make everything better, a piece (or two) of you breaks.

Brokenness is what happens when you realize the mess that you are in. It is the kick in the gut at the most inopportune times that makes you question everything you have ever known to be true.

Scars are very different than brokenness. Although they are there for the same reason that brokenness is, they are not a reflection of the pain. Scars don’t tell us that someone is hurt; they tell us that someone has healed. They don’t show us the injury, they show us the recovery.

Last night I came home from work and had a terrible head ache. I didn’t turn the TV on because the more noise there was in the house, the more my head ached. My husband came home after he got off from work and while I was finishing up dinner he turned the TV on. He turned it to Daystar (the only Christian television station we can get on our digital converter box and antenna).

As we sat down to eat, a piece of the 2013 Refreshing Times Conference came on. It was a message by Jimmy Evans. Now, I like Jimmy Evans, but I honestly wasn’t in the mood to hear a message on marriage. I just didn’t have it in me last night. The great thing is that God knew that. He knew that what I needed went much deeper than that. The message that Jimmy Evans shared was about the Scars of our Redeemer.

I haven’t really ever stopped to think about the scars that Jesus carried. I mean, I know about them, but I had never questioned them. Jesus died a horrible, excruciating, death on a cross after He had been beaten and whipped one strike away from death. If the story ended there, then scars would be expected.

The story didn’t end there. Why would Jesus, in His resurrected body, have scars? Why in His glorified, redeemed, resurrected state, would He have the ability to show the disciples the scars from his death? They were no longer wounds, because in His death and resurrection, they were healed, but they did leave scars.

One side note here: did you catch what I just said? “In His death and resurrection, Jesus’ wounds were healed”. Through the most horrible moments of Jesus’ earthly life, He was healed of the very thing that was wounding Him.

Many people have said before that because Jesus came to earth in human form, He was tempted and tried, just like we are, and that He had the same emotions and feelings as we do, so He understands the things we are going through in life. I have heard that often and I do believe that. But I had never before considered the fact that Jesus, when He could have so easily taken on a perfect, resurrected body, kept His scars. The question remains, why?

I don’t think that it was to “prove” He was who He claimed to be. The people He showed His scars to were people that He had spent a lot of time with. I think there would have been countless ways to prove to His disciples and family that it truly was Him and that He truly had been raised from the dead.

Here is what I think. Jesus wanted those around Him to see that even though He had been through such torture and torment, that God had healed Him. Even after death, God had restored Him and had made His life on earth a story of Redemption.

We have wounds, we have brokenness, and even if at this very moment in time, we don’t feel as though we have been healed of those, we do, or will have scars. Our scars are not ugly and they are not a reminder of the pain. Our scars, our redeemed, glorified scars, are a beautiful picture of the power of God to heal us from the most horrible moments in our lives. They are a reflection of His goodness and His love.

Satan will do everything he can to convince you to look at your scars as ugly, rotten, no good, painful wounds. He will try and tell you that you are useless and no good to God because of your scars. He will try to keep you in bondage to your wounds by trying to convince you that you have not been healed and never will be. He couldn’t be more wrong.

If Jesus can bear scars as a way to share the power of God and His love for others, then we can too. Stop trying to hide your scars. They don’t need to be covered up and you don’t need to be ashamed of them. Someone else needs to see them so that they can finally understand that God loves them and that He can change their life.

I wasn’t the one God chose to die on the cross for all mankind (thank goodness) but I am the one that He chose (and so are you) to go into all the world and preach the gospel. Scars are such an effective way to do that.

If you are struggling with an addiction, you don’t want to hear anything about how you will get through it from a person who has no clue what it is like to struggle with addiction. But if you run into a recovering alcoholic who tells you how much God loves you and he proves it to you by showing you his scars, you will listen much harder to what he has to say. You will listen because you understand that he has been there and that his life is better now than it was before.

I still have brokenness and I still have wounds. Everything in my life has not been completely healed yet. But I do have some scars and I have many more that are in the process of healing. I’m trusting God to finish that process.

One of the things that Jimmy Evans said is that when he was at his lowest point in his marriage, and Karen was in the bedroom packing to leave him, he told God, “If you will help us, we will help others”.

That is my prayer to God today. Lord, help me heal so that I will have the scars to help others.

Compact Family Services

We all have basic needs as humans. We need food to eat, water to drink, a roof over our heads, and someone, anyone, to care about us. Some people are fortunate enough to get those needs met through their family, while others have no family of their own. And when you have no family, it can be hard to find food, water, and a roof over your head, especially when you are young. Compact Family Services is a Christ-centered ministry working to help those who fall into that last category of people.

Compact Family Services is a ministry of the Assemblies of God, located in Hot Springs, Arkansas, serving in 5 different ministry areas: Hillcrest Children’s Home, Highlands Maternity Home, Adoptions, Foster Care, and Transitional Living. You can learn more about each area at www.compactfamilyservices.org.

Hillcrest Children’s Home is a private, Christian, residential child care campus for children and youth ages 5-18 who have been abused, neglected, and sexually exploited. These children are offered hope and healing by being provided with a safe environment where they can have a chance to find complete restoration in body, mind, and spirit.

Highlands Maternity Home is a place dedicated to bringing hope and healing to young women who are dealing with unplanned pregnancy. They offer a loving Christian environment for young women to get back on their feet. They offer classes on both adoption and parenting so that young women can make the best decision possible for them and their child. They offer adoption services if that is what a young woman decides is best for them and their baby free of charge.

Transitional Living Center is available to graduating Hillcrest residents, aging-out foster care youth, and transitioning women from Highlands Maternity Home. While in the Transitional Living Center there are many classes and activities available to continue to assist these young people in becoming successful and independent.

There are so many ways that you can help reach the lives of these children and young adults. Prayer, Giving, Sponsorship, Foster Parenting, and Adoption are just a few ways you can help.

Prayer is always needed. Compact Family Services has a detailed prayer guide on their website to let you know just what they need prayer for.

You can Give to Compact Family Services in a general contribution or to specific projects within specific ministries. For example, you can donate specifically to the Hillcrest College Scholarship Fund to help graduating Hillcrest kids continue their education. You can Sponsor a child. Visit the sponsorship page to learn more.

Become a Host Family. Maybe you can’t commit to being a foster parent or adopting a child permanently, but you can still help make a difference by becoming a Host Family. Host families are families who host one or more children in their home for holidays, vacations, or other occasions.

Also available on their website are lists of their most needed items. Maybe there is something on that list that you can donate?

Hillcrest has a special project currently to provide massage therapy for the girls there which I shared in a previous post. Another fantastic way you could provide help for these children. Even a one-time donation would be a blessing!

You can follow Compact Family Services on Facebook and Twitter.

We are called as Christians to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Helping Compact meet the needs of these children and young adults is a great way to do that!

Redeemed Conference - Redeeming our Perspective

Friday night’s service was an incredibly powerful service. The presence of the Lord was there from the beginning and never left. From the first utterance of sound to the last person leaving the auditorium, you knew you were in the presence of the Lord.

So many wonderful things happened even before Kerry began to speak. Anointed worship, tongues with interpretations, encouragement to keep trusting God and to keep walking in His redemption.

Kerry’s message Friday night was “Redeeming our Perspective”. We all have times when we let life get in the way of our perspective. I am guilty of that quite often actually and I was really glad that this was what she was speaking on.

Isaiah 43:1 says, “But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.”

In this verse the Lord is claiming you! You are His! He created you, redeemed you, and called you by your name. He knows you and He loves you!

Psalm 139:16-17 says, “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!”

In these verses we are reminded that God knew you before you were even conceived. He wrote the days of your being in his book before you even existed. He thinks precious and good thoughts about you.

These verses are a great place to start considering what our perspective should be. For me personally, but I think for women in general, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We don’t think we are pretty enough, or good enough, or talented enough in life. We put ourselves down and we don’t feel worthy. I am the world’s worst at taking a compliment. When other people give me a compliment, my first reaction is, “yeah right”. But in these verses, God is complimenting me. He is complimenting you. He is telling you that you are worth something to Him. He is telling you that you are valuable to Him.

In Kerry’s book and in her message, she gave strategies for redeeming our perspective.

1. Allow God to define you. 
• Don’t compare yourself to others.
2. Find your security in God. 
• If I am dependent on Him, He gives me what I need moment by moment.
3. Accept your limitations. 
• There are certain non-negotiable limitations in life. We all need sleep, food, and there are only 24 hours in a day. 
• Every season of life has different limitations. 
• Live graciously within your limitations.
4. Stop longing for the ideal.
5. Embrace God’s purpose for your life

All of these things speak to me directly. I have struggled my entire life with feeling inadequate as I mentioned above. Never feeling like I was enough. But by God’s definition, I am exactly who I need to be, created by Him for Him and greatly loved.

Accepting limitations is something I also struggle with, but I think a lot of women struggle with that one too. We want to be the best and do it all. We weren’t made to do it all. At some point, we will reach our limit. We will reach a breaking point. We need to understand our limits and live within them.

Stop longing for the ideal. This one hit me square between the eyes. There are things in my life that I have struggled with and part of the struggle has been me wanting life to be a certain way. Life is not always ideal, but that doesn’t mean it is always bad.

This can apply in many ways, but here is an example. When I decided to go back to college after I was married and had a child, I couldn’t do everything by myself. My husband and my son had to pitch in around the house. We started teaching our son to fold towels. At first, I would let him fold them, but I would come back behind him and redo them. Now, this didn’t save me any time. It didn’t solve my dilemma of needing help getting things done. If I was just going to come back behind him and redo them, it didn’t do any good to ask him to do it to start with.

At some point, I realized that when he folded the towels, they didn’t sit pretty on the shelf, but they were clean and “folded” and put away. So, I finally let that go. As he got older and folded more towels, they started looking better. They still aren’t the way I fold them when he does them, but still, they are clean, folded, and put away.

The towels on the shelf don’t have to be perfect. The clothes in the drawers and hanging in the closet don’t have to be perfect. This is a topic for an entirely different post, but your spouse doesn’t have to be perfect! Live in reality and accept the fact that life will not be perfect. It is ok that it isn’t, because we serve a perfect God!

Embrace God’s purpose for your life. God has a plan and a purpose for everyone in life. Whatever that is embrace it head on and live it with everything that is in you.

I intend to continue to work on having a redeemed perspective. I want to continue to work on viewing myself the way God does and not letting the enemy convince me that I’m anything less. I pray the same for each of you.

Redeemed Conference – Redeeming our Sexuality

The 2013 Women’s Conference challenged me in many ways. One of the main ways it challenged me was through the workshop and messages presented by Kerry Clarensau, National Women’s Department Director for the Assemblies of God. Because of how much I want to say, I am going to post about the workshop and services separately.

The first thing on the workshop agenda was Kerry’s workshop on “Redeeming our Sexuality”. Before I say much more about this, let me just say that I read Kerry’s book prior to conference. I got to this chapter in the book and before I read it, I didn’t really expect it to apply to me. Boy was I wrong. There were things in this chapter of her book that absolutely applied to me and some of them were things that I hadn’t even considered before.

One of the things that Kerry said during this workshop was “God doesn’t want His daughters to carry around the baggage of sexual sin”. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the baggage is from you choosing to live in sexual sin. This could also apply to you if you are the victim of someone else’s sexual sin. These things, whether brought on ourselves or put on us by others are not a part of God’s plan for our lives and He wants us to live in freedom from them. He doesn’t want them to hold us back and keep us down.

When Kerry was talking about this, just her use of the phrase “God doesn’t want His daughters” immediately caught my attention. I forget entirely too quickly that I am God’s daughter. I go through life and I forget to view myself that way. This changes my perspective on myself. It changes the way I view myself. It drastically improves my self-worth and my self-esteem for me to view myself as God’s daughter. If you are saved and you haven’t thought about yourself from that perspective lately, try it!

Another thing that really got my attention was when Kerry said, “The world is really loud about sexual things, the Church needs to be just as loud.” I will admit, that this blog post in and of itself is a stretch for me. To be honest, I’m stretching myself to even write this post. The world has twisted the idea of sex to the point that it is uncomfortable for many people to even talk about (it is me). However, Kerry is right! Because the world is so loud about it, and because what they tell everyone is so wrong and full of lies, we need to be just as loud in speaking the truth.

Kerry shared five ways to set healthy boundaries around your sexuality.

1. Guard Your Heart
2. Avoid inappropriate conversations with your friends
3. Don’t let the flame die
4. Guard your heart from other men (never have alone conversation with someone of the opposite sex)
5. Be respectful of men. (The respect we show other people is not a reflection of the other person’s worthiness; it is a reflection of our character.

You can find out more in Kerry’s book “Redeemed: Embracing a Transformed Life”.

Redeemed Conference - Worship

Last week’s “Wordless Wednesday” post (pictured to the left) was a photo that was taken during worship at the 2013 Arkansas Assemblies of God Women’sFall Conference. What a fantastic conference, with a fantastic theme, and fantastic leadership! The theme for this year’s conference was “Redeemed” and it was a weekend of redemption for many women.

As far as the leadership, I believe this photo says it all. Angelia Carpenter (pictured in the front, center of the crowd), District Women’s Director, leads the way not only in what she says from the podium, but also by example. She is a woman of impeccable character, she is my friend, and she is the person whose example I am proud to follow.

Worship during the conference was led by Leah Smith from Beebe Open Arms Assembly of God. This worship team was anointed!! The presence of God was so powerful during both services and it was evident from the very first song to the very last.

If you get the opportunity sometime, you should attend one of these conferences. There is something about several hundred women gathering together to openly worship the Lord that is unexplainable. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” This is a promise that is multiplied by several hundred at these conferences.

I will continue to share more about this conference, but for now, here are some more photos of the worship that took place!

A Lesson from Jehoshaphat

For various reasons, the story of Jehoshaphat has been on my mind lately. You can find the one I’m referring to in 2 Chronicles 20.

Jehoshaphat was the King of Israel at this time. The armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir all joined together to try and conquer Israel. Jehoshaphat was warned prior to being attacked that the armies were coming his way. In response to the warning, he sought the Lord for guidance. He then proclaimed a time of fasting and prayer throughout his people.

Jehoshaphat continued to seek the Lord. He prayed a prayer asking the Lord to deliver them from the attacks. The night before they were to be attacked, Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah) told the people not to be afraid. Here is what he told them.

And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow go down against them. They will surely come up by the Ascent of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the brook before the Wilderness of Jeruel. You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.” – 2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (NKJV)

When the time came to face the enemy he did something that most would find unbelievable. He was greatly outnumbered by the armies approaching. He didn’t send his best warriors out front. Instead, he sent his best worshipers out front. The scripture says that “when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated”.

Here is what happened. The three armies that joined together to attack Israel, turned on each other and killed each other. When Jehoshaphat and his army came to the battle grounds, there was no one left to fight, they were all dead. They also were then able to collect valuables from the defeated armies. Scripture says it took them three days to collect all of it! The Lord fought and won the battle for them and they got the goods left behind.

There are many important lessons in this one chapter of scripture. One of the biggest for me is the power of prayer, fasting, and worship. I believe greatly in all three. The second is what it says in verse seventeen. “You will not need to fight this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!”

The battle is the Lords (and it is) but I’m drawn by what this verse says: position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord. Let the Lord fight the battles (because it isn’t your job to do that) but position yourself. Worship, pray, and fast at times to ensure that you are in a position to stand back and see the salvation of the Lord.