Where Has the Time Gone?

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted here on the blog (March of last year is way to long). Where have I been? WAY TOO BUSY!!

I work a full time job. Outside of that, I got tied up in many different volunteer activities and decided to go to Graduate School!! More than anyone should take on at one time, I can tell you that much. I honestly just completely lost track of this blog and had no time or energy to even think about it for a while. I still don't know how regularly I will post at this point, but things have changed again in my life, and I am craving a creative outlet again!!

What has changed? Well, I am not going to Grad School this semester. I only need two more classes to finish what I was going for, but I can't do it this semester. I have started letting go of many of the volunteer activities that I have been doing. I am still working full time, however, most of the extra's have been let go in my life.

Why would I give up so much all at once? As of yesterday, I am 25 weeks pregnant with our second baby!! This was definitely a surprise for us and we did not plan on it nor were we expecting it.

What does this have to do with the blog? As I travel this road of dealing with pregnancy and the coming a new little one again, I am finding my mind all over the place and needing a place to gather my thoughts, experiences, DIY attempts, nursery delimas and anything else to just clear my mind a bit.

I hope that you will enjoy the rest of this pregnancy journey with me and welcoming our little one into the world!! Who knows, maybe my creative outlet and clearing my head will inspire someone or help someone else along the way!!

Patience is More than a Virtue

Several years ago, my son went to the same school as one of my coworker’s kids. Our desks were literally right next to each other and our kids went to the same school. The afternoons were intriguing to me as a certain phenomenon would happen over and over again. Here’s how the afternoons would go.

Quittin’ time!! We both would walk out to our cars together and we both would pull out of the parking lot one behind the other. She would speed down the road, weaving in and out of traffic, at times getting far enough ahead of me that I couldn’t see her anymore. I would choose the lane I wanted to be in and stay there.

It never failed! Nearly every day we would end up turning into the parking lot of the school one behind the other, exactly how we left the parking lot at work. No matter how fast she weaved in and out of traffic, it didn’t get her to the school any faster.

I know that we live in a fast paced world. Everything is instant gratification and even that isn’t fast enough. We are always looking for the newest and greatest inventions to make our lives easier. Most of the time, when we say that, we mean that we want something that will get the job done faster.

Why are we so focused on speed? Why is faster better? Why is waiting and patience so difficult for us? Why do we insist on finding a quick fix for our problems?

The truth is, God often asks us to wait, to be patient, to endure until His perfect timing comes. In fact there are countless lessons in scripture that show us that God rewards those who patiently wait for the fulfillment of His promises. There are just as many lessons that show us how impatience leads to disaster and disappointment.

Take Abraham and Sarah for example. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations, yet he had no children. Instead of waiting on God to fulfill His promise, they took it upon themselves to find a way (without God) to have a son. This son that Abraham had with Hagar, Sarah’s servant, and not with Sarah, was Abraham’s son, but he wasn’t God’s promise fulfilled. It was a human solution to a God promise and it neither fulfilled God’s promise nor did it create a happy healthy family environment. Sarah began resenting Hagar and it caused strife in their family.

Abraham and Sarah made poor choices because they focused on the waiting instead of the promise.

Now, let’s look at Jacob. Jacob had a dream and it was to marry Rachel!! The Bible says that Rachel was beautiful in every way and Jacob wanted her! He went to her father Laban and asked to marry Rachel. Laban agreed but only if Jacob worked for him for seven years first. Jacob agreed. Genesis 29:20 says:

“So Jacob spent the next seven years working to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.”

This tells me that Jacob was not focused on the waiting; he was focused on the promise!

Jacob spent his time working for Laban and although Laban tricked him into marrying Leah first, he did end up marrying Rachel as well. (If you don’t know the story, go read it in Genesis 29).

Where we put our focus matters, and it matters big!! If we spend our lives focusing on our problems instead of God’s promises to us, we are setting ourselves up for heartache. But if we focus on God’s promise to us, we can rest assured that He will fulfill it and we can live a much more peaceful life.

God is asking us to stop weaving in and out of traffic and speeding down the road. He wants us to slow down, stay in His lane, and keep our eyes on Him!

You see, we both made it to the school. It isn’t that I made it and she didn’t, but our journeys to get there were vastly different. Her journey was full of uncertainty and caused anxiety (especially for those cars around her). My journey was calm and peaceful.

Let’s choose the calm and peaceful journey. Let’s make up our minds now, that no matter what is coming our way, God’s way is the best way and He will never fail us. Let’s get in His lane and keep our eyes on Him.

A Wish Fulfilled

Left to Right: Angelia, Jenel, Thomas, Lexa

Meet my friends, Thomas, Angelia, Jenel, and Lexa Carpenter. This family is like none I’ve ever met, and I would venture to guess, I won’t meet another one like them in my lifetime. They ALL inspire me to greatness!

Their son, Buck, died in a car accident in 2011, but his legacy is growing each and every day! Because of a wish Buck made in Kindergarten, Buck’s family is traveling to Africa to give toys to kids. I could tell you his story, but hearing it from his mom’s heart is better than me telling it.

On October 20, 2011 our 8 year old son, Buck, was taken to heaven in a car accident. Shortly after the wreck we were invited to Africa for a missions endeavor.

While preparing for the trip we came across a Kindergarten school assignment. Buck was asked to complete this sentence:

"I wish every kid could..." his teacher said without hesitation he replied, "I wish every kid could have toys to play with in Africa!"

As the Lord would have it, on October 20, 2012, we were in Africa on the "one year anniversary" of Buck's home going- passing out his toys to homeless kids. Then 10 days later, October 30, we visited an informal settlement called Red Hill. Again, we passed out toys in Buck's memory; this would have been his 10th birthday. This experience was a great work of Redemption for us!

Many toys have been donated to us for Africa even though we have never asked for one. God just sends them. :)

Last year the Chi Alpha group from UCA carried 50 bags of toys to children in South Africa. We also included a notebook, pencil, toothbrush and toothpaste. They deserve things they "need" as well! Lord willing 50 more bags will go with Chi Alpha students this year in May.

My husband, Thomas and I along with our two daughters, Jenel and Lexa will be going to Africa in June. This will be our daughters first time to go. We are looking forward to handing out Buck's Toys together!

This family has been a great encouragement to me. They have walked through hard times and faced them with an unwavering faith in God. They understand what it means to Trust God and they live it out each and every day.

They are still raising funds to get them to Africa in just a few short weeks. Here are some ways that you can help make a difference in the lives of kids in Africa!

Buy "A Heart 4 Africa" Necklace

I am making and selling necklaces to raise some money for their trip and for other expenses related to Buck's Toys 4 Africa. You can order one from my Etsy Shop. There are two different types to choose from. https://www.etsy.com/shop/Selling4Africa

Online Donations
If you would like to make a donation to Buck's Toys online, you can do so through the Special Touch Ministry Website at http://www.specialtouch.org/donate. Choose Thomas & Angelia Carpenter in the missionary name drop down and put "Buck's Toys" in the notes column. Then enter the amount you would like to give and select submit and it will take you through the rest of the donation process.

Follow them on Social Media

Facebook - /buckstoys4africa

Twitter - @bucktoys4africa

Instagram - @buckstoys4africa

Pinterest - @bucktoys4africa

Share their posts

Help spread the word by sharing, re-tweeting, and re-pinning using the hashtag #buckstoys4africa.

Pray for Them
Pray for this family as they finish preparing to go to Africa and while they are there. If you will follow them on social media, you will get updates along their journey. Pray for provision for the remaining funds needed. Pray for safety as they travel and for divine appointments while they are there!

Here are a few pictures of their last trip to Africa in October 2011 and the Chi Alpha trip to Africa Summer 2013. 

 

Candied Grapes

I am really excited!! This is the first food post I have written, ever for this blog, well just ever, period.

I have been on the hunt for ideas for snacks and other healthy recipes lately and Pinterest is one of my favorite places to collect them all.

I saw this idea on Pinterest for “Glittery Sour Patch Grapes” and wanted to try it. Mostly because it looked good and super easy! The other reason I wanted to try it is because my son is in a stage where he is constantly eating and the first thing he wants is something sweet. I’ve been on the hunt for some healthier alternatives that my VERY picky eater will actually eat. The pin said they tasted like sour patch candy so I thought for sure it was something to try.

Because I have a boy and anything “glittery” is girly, I just called them candied grapes. I also only used one flavor of jello instead of two. That is one of the great things about this recipe too, you can choose any type of grape and any flavor jello and the combinations would be limitless. Another plus, using sugar free jello would make this even healthier.

Candied Grapes

Ingredients:
Grapes, washed and removed from stem (we used purple grapes)
1 pkg unprepared Jello (we used strawberry flavored)

Directions:
All you do is pour the unprepared jello into a bowl or on a plate and roll the grapes in it. Put them in a container with a lid that you can refrigerate. Store them in the refrigerator or freezer if you like frozen grapes.

It’s just that easy!! Not only is it a healthy snack, but something fun and easy that your kids can make with you. My picky eater loved them and keeps asking for more!!

The only down side for this to me was that the jello mix got on your fingers and stained them. My fingers were red for the rest of the day but after several washes, it came off.

If you try them, let me know what you think!

Compact Family Services

We all have basic needs as humans. We need food to eat, water to drink, a roof over our heads, and someone, anyone, to care about us. Some people are fortunate enough to get those needs met through their family, while others have no family of their own. And when you have no family, it can be hard to find food, water, and a roof over your head, especially when you are young. Compact Family Services is a Christ-centered ministry working to help those who fall into that last category of people.

Compact Family Services is a ministry of the Assemblies of God, located in Hot Springs, Arkansas, serving in 5 different ministry areas: Hillcrest Children’s Home, Highlands Maternity Home, Adoptions, Foster Care, and Transitional Living. You can learn more about each area at www.compactfamilyservices.org.

Hillcrest Children’s Home is a private, Christian, residential child care campus for children and youth ages 5-18 who have been abused, neglected, and sexually exploited. These children are offered hope and healing by being provided with a safe environment where they can have a chance to find complete restoration in body, mind, and spirit.

Highlands Maternity Home is a place dedicated to bringing hope and healing to young women who are dealing with unplanned pregnancy. They offer a loving Christian environment for young women to get back on their feet. They offer classes on both adoption and parenting so that young women can make the best decision possible for them and their child. They offer adoption services if that is what a young woman decides is best for them and their baby free of charge.

Transitional Living Center is available to graduating Hillcrest residents, aging-out foster care youth, and transitioning women from Highlands Maternity Home. While in the Transitional Living Center there are many classes and activities available to continue to assist these young people in becoming successful and independent.

There are so many ways that you can help reach the lives of these children and young adults. Prayer, Giving, Sponsorship, Foster Parenting, and Adoption are just a few ways you can help.

Prayer is always needed. Compact Family Services has a detailed prayer guide on their website to let you know just what they need prayer for.

You can Give to Compact Family Services in a general contribution or to specific projects within specific ministries. For example, you can donate specifically to the Hillcrest College Scholarship Fund to help graduating Hillcrest kids continue their education. You can Sponsor a child. Visit the sponsorship page to learn more.

Become a Host Family. Maybe you can’t commit to being a foster parent or adopting a child permanently, but you can still help make a difference by becoming a Host Family. Host families are families who host one or more children in their home for holidays, vacations, or other occasions.

Also available on their website are lists of their most needed items. Maybe there is something on that list that you can donate?

Hillcrest has a special project currently to provide massage therapy for the girls there which I shared in a previous post. Another fantastic way you could provide help for these children. Even a one-time donation would be a blessing!

You can follow Compact Family Services on Facebook and Twitter.

We are called as Christians to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Helping Compact meet the needs of these children and young adults is a great way to do that!

Family Life Meet Up

I was blessed to be a part of the Arkansas Women Bloggers Meet Up that was hosted by Family Life. This was the first day in a long time that I truly noticed divine connections and I knew God was orchestrating something for His glory!

The first thing I noticed before I walked in was a large monument outside the door. It read, “Dedicated by Families who want to give God all the glory”. While there is a business side to running a ministry like Family Life, I never once felt like I was in a business. Everyone we met was friendly and I felt genuine love from each and every one of them.

The day began with a tour of their beautiful facilities. When you come into the front door, you enter into a beautiful rotunda. One wall has the mission statement on it and the other has Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it”. Throughout the building there are photos on the walls. One wall has a timeline of their ministry on it, which I thought was really neat.

Then there was an area that displayed some of their resources. One display had Barbara Rainey’s Ever Thine Home collection displayed. Beautiful items created with the idea that Christian homes should be a place where when people walk in there is no doubt in their mind that the family living in that home is a family that is serving God. But it isn’t just about decorating your home. The Ever Thine Home collection is designed to help teach your children about different things from the Word. For example, there is an entire collection of hanging ornaments that have the names of Jesus on them. They come with a book with stories and information to share about each of the names of Jesus.

Barbara Rainey also spoke to the group while we were there. Her heart for the home and family is evident. I have heard the name Dennis and Barbara Rainey and Family Life for as long as I can remember. I have listened to Family Life Today and my husband and I have attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway early on in our marriage. I never would have imagined meeting Barbara in real life. She is such a gracious and sweet spirited woman. I am so glad that I was able to meet her.

For me personally, the best part of the day was talking with Tracey Eyster, Founder and Executive Director of MomLife Today and Author of Be The Mom. She is an unbelievable blessing to anyone who crosses her path. She is genuine and has such a heart for moms and families. In the few minutes you are around her, she will encourage, uplift, and challenge you all at the same time. I know that only Tracey will understand this, but I will never look at Macaroni and Cheese the same way again!

Speaking of Macaroni and Cheese, the food was amazing too!! It was prepared by some wonderful folks at Family Life just for us. What a blessing they were. The picture I took shows all the goodness, except for the desert. I totally forgot to take a picture of that before I dug into it. It just looked so great the picture slipped my mind. It truly was an amazing day and I am so blessed that I was able to be there!

Encouragement for Today by the Proverbs 31 Ministry Team

“Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Life features 100 daily readings that meet you where you are. Written by the Proverbs 31 Ministries team, authors Lysa TerKeurst, Renee Swope, Samantha Evilsizer, and more, share from the realities of everyday life – the highs and lows, the coffee spills, humorous stories, and tender moments.”

This quote is from the Proverbs 31 Ministries website regarding this book. This is such a true statement. Encouragement for Today is a great devotional book.

I love daily devotional books and here is why. I don’t have hours or even 30 minutes a day some days to sit down and read. I can find time to read a one or two page devotional though. While I do my best to fit in time to read the Word of God directly, devotionals sometimes focus my attention to one topic or issue and help me to search that out in the Word. I’m a bit scatterbrained at times so a little focus and a specific direction to think in helps me out!

I love the Proverbs 31 team and appreciate the work they do to help women grow in Christ!!


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255:“Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Halloween

The end of October is here. Facebook and Instagram are full of pictures of cute kids dressed up for Halloween activities they are attending. Pinterest is saturated with pins of yummy Halloween treat recipes and super cute Halloween crafts and DIY decorations (like the peacock pumpkin and gourd pictured here). People everywhere are planning and attending all kinds of carnivals, festivals, and parties to celebrate the occasion.

Growing up, I lived in the same house for as much of my childhood as I can remember. We lived on a circle with only one way in and out. For the most part, the only people who drove through either lived on our block or were visiting someone who lived on our block. My parents knew almost all of the neighbors and trick or treating around our block was safe and fun.

When I was younger, ours was a neighborhood where people would come on Halloween to trick or treat. Flocks of kids I didn’t know would come in by the car full to our little block and would ring our doorbells and ask for treats.

Occasionally I remember us going to a carnival or fall festival where we could dress up and wear our Halloween costumes. These were either put on by our church or the Christian School that we attended. Good food, games, face painting, hay rides, and just plain fun is what I remember about attending these events.

As I got older things changed some on Halloween. Familiar houses became unfamiliar as long time neighbors moved to other communities. Fewer kids came onto our block to trick or treat with us. I grew up and had a child of my own. Now all of the sudden, I’m the adult trying to decide what is appropriate and safe for my child on this particular holiday.

Obviously when he was little it didn’t matter too much what we did. He didn’t know that we were even supposed to do anything special on that day. As he grew up and understood what Halloween was (or at least what the other kids around him said it was) he would ask me if we were going to trick or treat.

A few years we have gone to another neighborhood and became one of the “flock of kids”. Most years, I have searched out church carnivals that we could go to. I didn’t care too much what church was hosting it; I was just looking for a fun, safe place for my son to enjoy the night.

As I have grown both into adulthood and grown spiritually speaking, there are things about Halloween that bother me. Kids dressed up in costumes that just make you cringe. Short skirts with fishnet stockings, or blood and gore like your six year old just came out of the latest R rated horror film. Neither of these things (regardless of your beliefs) are age appropriate for the children I have seen wearing them.

Unless you live in a small community and still know your neighbors, trick or treating is no longer safe. You can’t allow your kids to roam the streets and even if you go with them, you don’t know what you may end up with. You don’t know what you may expose your children to without realizing that you will. I’ve been to a few homes that just felt “evil” when you walked up. Regardless of how much innocent fun you can come up with for your kids on Halloween, it is hard to avoid the spooky, scary, and sometimes evil that comes along with it.

I’m not saying that Halloween is all bad and that you can’t find something fun and safe to do with your kids. My son will participate in a few Halloween activities this year and will dress up a few times this week. I will not ban him from participating in Halloween. However, I will find opportunities to talk to him about what is ok and what is not ok for our family to participate in. I will find opportunities to help him understand what things about Halloween line up with what we believe and what things do not.

For me, it isn’t about avoiding Halloween, it is about guarding against spiritual forces of darkness and teaching my son to do the same.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. – Ephesians 6:12-13

This year my son is dressing up as his own made up superhero, Super Jonathan (yes he made that up himself). Super Jonathan will be reminded this week about the whole armor of God: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the word of God, and prayer. Put on the whole armor, then you can go out and be a superhero!

Remembering Buck and Nelma

Buck and Nelma Carpenter

Life can take a turn in a matter of seconds. On October 20, 2011, one family’s lives changed forever. The brakes on the vehicle that Nelma Carpenter was driving went out as she was exiting off the interstate. With herself and her grandchildren in the car with her, she knew they were going to have a wreck. All she could do was warn the children it was about to happen. In that moment, one of her grandchildren, Buck, leaned over to try and protect his little cousin. The car wrecked and life as this family knew it would never be the same.

Nelma, a precious woman of God and Buck, his cousin’s hero, went to be with Jesus that day. The other grandchildren survived the wreck, but the paramedics told the family that if Buck had not shielded his cousin, there would have been a third fatality.

Prior to the wreck, I knew who Nelma was but I really had not been able to get to know her. Buck and my son were in children’s church together, but I had not really gotten an opportunity to get to know him either.

During this time, I went to church some, but I was working on my degree and I let that keep me from going to church the way that I should have been. I remember one day my husband came home from church and told me “some lady”, who he couldn't remember her name, “asked for your phone number and said she wanted to call you”. I said ok, but I didn't really expect her to call. Mostly because so many people in my life before had said things like that but never did.

But that afternoon, she did call. It was Bucks mom, Angelia. She asked me how things were going and told me we needed to take the boys to Chuck-e-Cheese one day. I think about that phone call often. I think about how much I wish we would have made it to Chuck-e-Cheese.

It wasn’t long after that, the wreck happened. I couldn't imagine going through such a thing. I remember just sitting there wondering how this family was going to make it. How do you survive such a tragedy and keep going in life? I kept thinking of how messed up I would be if such a thing happened to me. I had no clue what they were going through, but I knew that it was the hardest thing they had faced so far in life.

A few months later, Angelia asked me to go with her to a women’s service that she was speaking at in Conway. I went with her, and this was really the beginning of our friendship. As I said earlier, I didn’t have the opportunity to get to know Nelma or Buck well at all. But here is what I have been able to do.

In this new found friendship that began, I have had unique opportunities as time passed. I have had the opportunity to watch a family go through the hardest time of their life, and to do it with such grace. I have been able to watch them and learn what it means to fully trust in God. I have been able to see what it means to believe in God and His faithfulness and to keep pressing forward with Jesus despite the hard times in life.

That night in Conway, just a few short months after the accident, the message that was shared was a message of perseverance. A message of how there are seasons in life. God created us to change and grow and that through each season of life He was there with us and would never leave us.

I have heard Angelia speak several times in the last two years, most recently just last week. That night the message was about finding peace in the Lord. How God wants us to not just have a little peace, where we are barely hanging on, but how He wants us to rest in His peace. Peace is something I continually struggle with, but I looked at my friend that night, and I thought to myself, “If this amazing woman can find a resting peace, then so can I.”

I have watched her and her family show the love of Christ to others even on days when it was obvious that they were struggling themselves. They always put others needs ahead of their own and they are continually striving to point others toward Jesus.

When I think about the Carpenter’s, I think about what it means to live life fully relying on Jesus. Fully trusting in Him and fully resting in His love. And then I think about what it looks like to live that out so that others can see Jesus in them.

What an amazing family, with an amazing testimony, and amazing strength. I have often said in the last few years that I want to be like Angelia when I grow up. I say that jokingly, but I do really mean it. If I can be half the woman of God that she is, half the wife and mother that she is, then I will have succeeded in this life.

My love and prayers go out to all of the Carpenter family today and every day.

The Almost Birthday Failure

Have you ever had those moments as a parent when you feel like you have to be the worst mom ever? I have those occasionally. I had one recently.

On the way to church Sunday night my son said, “Mom! Do you know what happens in eight days?” I thought for a minute and then I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I said, “Yes”. He said, “Well, what”? I said, “It’s your birthday”.

Now, I hadn’t really forgotten that his birthday was coming up, but I completely put off thinking about it. Lucky for me he isn’t too picky about things. We can do big birthdays or we can do little birthdays, and so far he doesn’t seem to mind either way.

So, in a last minute scramble (last minute for me anyway) I initiated a plan and we now have a birthday party planned. Well, we have a place to have it and people invited and a cake ordered. I still need to get a few things and will have to pick up the cake and ice cream on Saturday morning on our way to the party.

I keep feeling like a terrible mom to think that I came so close to not doing anything for his birthday. I feel like had he not mentioned it, it may have turned out that way. But then I keep reminding myself, that it’s ok. Nothing has to be planned for a month in advance for it to turn out just fine (Although, that goes against the inner most planner that I am).

I actually think this will turn out to be a great party. We invited the kids from church to come and most of them I think are going to come. That in itself will be a great thing for him. We have had parties before where we have invited kids, but never really had many show up. So, I think he will have a great party, even if it is low key and quickly thrown together!

What do you think? How much do you think should go into a kids birthday party to make it a special day for them?

What are some fun birthday parties that you have thrown for your kids?

Freedom is Rising

I was blessed to be able to go to Greenbrier tonight to see the Arkansas All State Drama Team! They did a fantastic job, but I expected nothing less. When I saw them last year, I cried. This year was slightly less teary eyed (but I still cried).

They have been traveling the state this week with a message of freedom! Freedom from any chain or bondage that may be entrapping you. Big things like drugs, alcohol, pornography, and cutting to the little things we all may face in life like fear and depression.

In all the running around this week I have been overwhelmed by the same message. Bondage can be broken and freedom has arrived! That's a scary thing to say for me, because it insinuates that bondage won't return. I have lived through cycles of bondage so it is hard to state in public for others to hear that bondage is gone and chains are broken because there is a part of me that is just waiting for the next chains to come.

I guess that is a chain in itself. Constantly living waiting for the next bondage to come and fear of what's ahead. Not fully living in freedom because I'm just waiting for the next entrapment. Over thinking and over analyzing situations in life is like second nature to me. What can I say, it's probably what drove me to get an accounting degree!

Christ has said, that I am free, my family is free, and my life is a story of redemption walking around everyday. I can't live life waiting for the hammer to fall again.

Living free in Christ is a privilege. It is a gift from God. If your Father gave you a new iPhone as a gift, would you refuse to use it because there may come a day when you drop it and crack the screen? Would you give it back to your dad and say I don't want it because I may not have it for long? That's crazy. No one would do that. Maybe they would get an otter box to protect it while they use it, but they wouldn't just refuse to accept the gift.

That's what it's like when Christ gives you freedom and salvation in Him! It is a gift from our Heavenly Father. To refuse it for fear that it won't last is like refusing to take the iPhone because you think it won't last. Accept the gift with joy and the wholehearted belief that it will last. Protect the gift with prayer and getting in the word. Proclaim the gift (brag about it) like you would the iPhone. It is a freely given gift and it is available for everyone. If you could give everyone you meet a free iPhone, wouldn't you? I know I would! So why not share the free gift we do have?

Countless times this week, Gods message to me has been, "you have been set free", "The past is over. Whether it was 10 years ago or 1 week ago, it is still the past", "You have a new beginning", and "Trust me and just keep moving forward".

If you are in central Arkansas you can still catch the drama team Sunday morning in Sheridan or Sunday night in Jacksonville. I highly recommend it!!

And God said "Trust Me"

I want to follow up on my Mother’s Day post. I wrote that post late Friday night and posted it around 1:30 AM on Saturday morning. Throughout the day on Mother’s Day, my thoughts turned quite frequently to my baby that I never met. I am always in awe of God and His love for His children. God reminded me of some things on Sunday and I want to share those with you as well. Mostly because I know I’m not the only one who has been through a miscarriage so I want to share with you what God shared with me.

First of all, I want to remind you that God has a plan for our futures and it is a good plan! "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We don’t always understand why things happen in our lives, but we need to keep trusting the promise that God has plans to prosper us and give us hope, plans for a future that is beyond anything we could ever imagine. You might wonder why a loving God would take a child away from us in order to fulfill some other part of His plan and how that is in any way a good plan! This verse of scripture is often used to give encouragement, but most of the time when people quote this verse they forget to remind others that these words were spoken to a group of people who were being punished by God. Now, I’m not saying that if you have a miscarriage it is a punishment from God (I don’t believe that all), but what I am saying is that even in a time where God was punishing a people, He was reminding them of the good that He had planned for their future. To me, knowing this makes this verse even more encouraging. We serve a faithful, loving God, who wants the very best for us. He isn’t out to get us or make us suffer in vain.

As I was thinking about my baby this weekend, I was praying and thanking God for raising my baby in heaven, since I couldn’t raise my baby here on earth. At that moment, God reminded me of some things. Our job as parents on this earth is to raise our children in the Lord. To teach them right and wrong, to teach them to love and serve God, and to teach them about salvation and what it takes to spend eternity with God in Heaven. That is our most important job as parents.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him." (NIV). The word heritage refers to something you inherit. If you receive an inheritance; that means it was something that belonged to someone else before you. Our children are an inheritance from the Lord.

God so gently reminded me in that moment, that my baby wasn’t my baby at all. My baby was His baby and had I gotten the opportunity to raise them on earth, it was with the understanding that I was raising that baby for the Lord. He reminded me that my ultimate goal for that baby was accomplished. That child is in Heaven, they made it!! Whatever God’s reasons were for it to be so early in life as opposed to later, I don’t know. What I do know is that my baby is home, where they belong. My baby is home where I so long to be. I look forward to going home soon to be with my baby.

Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds". Scripture is full of similar verses. The Lord has great plans for you and He is there to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds. He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us and that He will be there for us. Ephesians 2:20-21says, "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." He has good plans for us and He can do more than we can ask or imagine. Trust Him today to bring His good and perfect plans to pass and rest knowing that your baby is home, right where they belong!
　

Mother's Day: Here Comes Another One!

If there were ever a specific day of the year that I both appreciate and dread all at the same time, it's Mother's Day. I know it seems strange that being a mom and still having my mom around that I could dread a day focused on celebrating moms. Why is that? Let me start with the appreciation part, then I will move onto why I dread it.

I have a nine year old son who I love dearly. He makes me laugh, smile, and if I'm being honest, occasionally he also makes me want to scream, but what young boy doesn't at one time or another have that effect on women! He is a great kid and I am proud that he calls me mom.

I also have a great mother of my own. She has always made great sacrifices for me and my brother and sister. She put all of us through private school our entire school career. None of us ever went to public school. Living where we did growing up, I am eternally grateful for that sacrifice. I don't remember a time that we ever went without the things that we needed and everyone except mom generally got the things that they wanted. Mom never really went out and shopped for herself and I remember being glad the few times I remember her doing that. Again, sacrificing for the rest of us. I love my mom very much and even though I don't say it often enough, I sincerely appreciate everything she has ever done for me.

While I have a great son and mom to celebrate with, the last few years I have not looked forward to Mother's Day. Somewhat because I often feel guilty that I don't always buy my mom a present. It makes me feel like a terrible kid. I also don't always go see her on Mother's Day. I'll try to call her, but is that really enough?

I also feel like there is a part of me missing on Mother's Day. About seven years ago, I had a miscarriage. Most of the time I don't think about it, but days like this one make me feel like a part of my family is missing. I wasn't far enough along to know if it was going to be a boy or a girl, but John believes it was a girl. I picture a little girl running around with curly blonde pigtails and blue green eyes. I think about how great of a big brother Jonathan would be and how many times he has asked for a baby brother or sister. I think about all the time my mom and I spent in Girl Scouts or doing crafty things, or me learning how to sew, cross-stitch, plastic canvas, latchook, etc. I think about how cool it would be to be able to teach those things to a daughter. I think about the memories I have of all that with my mom and I wonder if I will ever have that from a moms perspective.

I also honestly don't feel like a good mom. I take care of necessities, but I fall extremely short when it comes to spending quality time with my son. Maybe it's because I don't have cool boy stuff to teach him. Maybe it's because of all the other things racing around in my mind all the time. Either way, it's unfair that he is going to grow up and think back on his childhood and probably remember playing alone in his room more than anything. He doesn't complain and he generally goes to his room on his own, but what is he going to say about me when he grows up?

So, my plans for this Mother's Day include going to church with my family, calling or going by to see my mom, maybe a movie/game night with my boy, and thanking God for raising my baby in heaven!